I Told My Wife I Was Asexual
It was a lie to cover low desire caused by an affair I had ended. She believed me. She stopped initiating. I miss her touch and deserve the silence.
Affair ended. Guilt killed desire. Instead of truth I said I might be asexual.
She researched. She joined forums for partners. She stopped initiating to protect me.
The kindness burns.
I want to tell her the truth—that I'm not asexual, I'm ashamed.
I don't know if the marriage survives honesty.
I know it won't survive another lie.
So I stay quiet and watch her read articles about how to love me without pressure.
I am the pressure. I am the problem. I want to be good again and don't know the path.
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